Sunday, January 25, 2015

GIVING REAL LOVE TO YOUR CHILD

An outline on how parents can educate their children in human sexuality
To protect your family, as Pope Francis urged, parents have to teach that sex is for total self-giving love

Download the free one-page leaflet here.


Help protect families by helping as many parents as possible educate their children on true love and the meaning of sexuality. Send copies to parishes, schools, communities, offices, and make them distribute copies to parents. 
 
REASON: Why do I have to teach this?

(1) Your child’s happiness depends on it. If training a child to read and write prepares for a good life, how much more training to love in a family! The great five-word conclusion of Harvard’s longest study is: Happiness is love. Full stop.
(2) Your child is threatened by diabolical falsehoods.  Porn access and a sex-crazed media promote seeing sex as a trivial toy and bodies as things to be used for selfish ends.  
(3) Porn is as addicting as heroin. Its use lowers academic performance.  
(4) Eternal life is at stake.  Our Lady of Fatima in 1917 warned: More souls go to hell for sins of the flesh than for any other sin.
(5) It’s your grave and joyful duty.  No one else but you are ultimately accountable for your child’s education.  So overcome your discomfort for the sake of your child. Only truth sets free! 

CONTENT: What do I have to teach?

Truth 1: HAPPINESS only comes from true love. Not from selfishness. Selfishness only produces the sadness of guilt. God who is love and supreme joy made us in his image: with mind and freedom. We glow with supreme joy by loving intelligently and willingly, like God.

Truth 2: LOVE means willing the good of the other person and total self-giving. Not fleeting feelings. Not evil, animal instincts.  Love is the most subject in life (Pope Francis). So we have to know its true meaning and to practice sacrifice to prevent evil and do good. .   

Truth 3. GOD is the source of true love. Not our actions. The key to love, taught Pope Francis, is not our loving, but allowing ourselves to be loved.  So let us center our life on the one truth behind all that exists: God loves us, died to save us and rose to give us his life.  Making our minds and hearts revolve around Jesus’ loving deeds in Calvary is the secret to the sweet joy of life and our deep conversion from lust. “If the heat of lust rises in me, it is extinguished by recalling the wounds of Christ. I have not found a more effective remedy.”  (John of F├ęcamp) Confession and Mass give us God’s love.

Truth 4: BODIES are persons (children, images and temples of God) to be reverenced, served and saved. Not objects to be used for selfish ends. A look of lust, taught Jesus, is “adultery in the heart”. Instead see bodies as “Jesus in disguise”, carrying his wounds.

Truth 5. SEX is a sacred gift that enables us to make a gift of ourselves and of immortal beings. Not a toy. Humans are incarnate spirits. So we express total self-giving love not just by our souls, but also by our bodies, and sexuality.

Truth 6: CHASTITY is a joyful Yes to true love freed from selfishness through self-mastery. Not a negative. Since you cannot give a gift that you do not have, you have to master your body to be able to give it freely and help others. Chastity is intelligent leadership of our emotions and sexual urges. As we discipline our appetite intelligently by eating right to be fit and healthy, we channel our sexual urges to be able to give real, flourishing and joyful love.

Truth 7: HOLINESS is man’s great calling: to be one with God in the total gift of ourselves in marriage or in apostolic celibacy.

God meant sex to express total self-giving within marriage with two inseparable meanings:
(1) Giving one’s bodily fertility to cooperate with God in generating a child: A new immortal spirit is an inestimable gift to the spouse (baby-making or procreative meaning of sex),
(2) Giving one’s whole life until death (bonding or unitive meaning). Only the sacred covenant of the sacrament of  marriage provides for the good of children (growth and education in a stable family), and the good of the spouses (total committed love). 

Thus, these are sins against God and self-destructive evils:        
1) masturbation  – selfish self-seeking, not self-giving,
2) fornication  – no total, committed, life-long self-giving union,
3) contraception  – a lie in the sexual language of total self-giving (willfully withholds fertility); anti-procreative (= anti-good) while natural family planning  is non-procreative and moral.  

Since sex means self-giving love, the greater vocation is celibacy. It gives up the great good of marriage for total self-giving union with God, Love Himself. Like Mary, it gives birth to a multitude of spiritual children.  Parents are to support this calling with joy. 

PEDAGOGY: How and when do I teach?

(1) Teach gradually and repeatedly. Use moments like pregnancy and birth. (2) Have one-on-one friendly chats: dad with son, mom with daughter.  (3) Be ahead of the need and the bad influence of peers. (4) Emphasize moral aspect. Build a home environment of growth in real love. (5) Train in the critical use of media. Protect from falsehoods. Check moral content of shows and movies (e.g., free IMDb Parents Guide).  Use computer filters (e.g. K9 Filter is free).

Innocence (5 years old to age of puberty): Your child is at ease with the body, not interested in sex. (1) Protect their innocence. Give indirect formation on chastity, unless needed. Correct wrong information and bad habits. Teach modesty. (2) Develop virtues: teamwork, obedience, generosity, self-denial, reflection to control instincts (habit of reading); (3) For girls: Show the Virgin Mary as model of motherhood (4) For boys: Develop friendship with dad. Teach that masculinity means service and responsibility. Train in self-control over aggressiveness. No to machismo.

Puberty: Your child discovers his inner world (deep questions, feelings of love, intense joys) and experiences sexual changes. More vulnerable to emotional influences. (1) Be more attentive. (2) Give detailed information ahead of peers about characteristics of both sexes and on sexual changes. [Free flyer: A Boy’s Guidebook. A Girls’ Guidebook.]  (3) Key moment to teach the value and the great joy of chastity, the dignity of marriage, and the liberating power of the moral law. (4) For boys:  Help them avoid erotic fantasies by teaching respect for women and the sacredness of procreation.  

Adolescence:  thinking of future plans; more sexual problems emerge. (1) Teach them to follow Christ above all within His vocation and plan for each. (2)  Foster ideals of service. (3) Exercise tough love: Say no to sin. (4) Teach: dating is only for discerning marriage. (5) Supervise parties. Parents are responsible for the actions of their teenage children.


Download the free one-page leaflet hereHelp protect families by helping as many parents as possible educate their children on true love and the meaning of sexuality. Send copies to parishes, schools, communities, offices, and make them distribute copies to parents.

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Please check out the other free leaflets in this blog. Please distribute them widely.

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