How to be cured of the deadly sin that leads to hell "more than any other sin" (Our Lady of Fatima) and live a pure life of happiness!
Download the one-page Executive Summary HERE for mass distribution. This contains the result of research on several of the best books on porn addiction, the writings of the saints on this topic, and my experience of mentoring many men in the struggle to keep pure.
All men are born wounded, inclined to evil, a tendency called “concupiscence”, a rebellion of the flesh against the spirit–the very root of the Culture of Death. “Lust
is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual
pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its
procreative [baby-making] and unitive [bonding] purposes.” (CCC 2351)
To get cured of lust we take three steps: 1) Go to the best doctor. 2) Take the best medicines. 3) Live a healthy lifestyle.
By doing these, we grow in the beautiful virtue called chastity or holy purity.
GO TO THE BEST DOCTOR: Ask Jesus to heal you.
For any illness of the soul, there is only one best doctor: Jesus, who said, Without me you can do nothing. “It is not possible to lead a clean life without God's assistance. He wants us to be humble and to ask for his aid.” (St. Josemaria) Beg Jesus to grant us the virtue of chastity, the intelligent leadership of our sexual desires and the freedom of true love.
"Purity is the fruit of prayer," taught St. Mother Teresa. To attain purity, we have to cease trying to rely on ourselves (Benedict XVI) and cast our cares on God. (St. Augustine) A short biblical prayer is “If you wish, you can make me clean.” In the net, you can find many prayers for purity. The key is to repeat them with the humility of a powerless child.
TAKE THE BEST MEDICINES: Allow Jesus to heal you.
Jesus’ most powerful remedy for lust is his wounds. “By his wounds we are healed,” says the Bible. To heal us, Pope Francis taught, “Jesus invites us to behold these wounds, to touch them as Thomas did.” St. Josemaria advised: “Enter into the wounds of Christ crucified. There you will learn to guard your senses. You will have interior life.” “If an impure thought strikes me, I resort to the wounds of Christ. If the heat of lust rises in me, it is extinguished by recalling the wounds of Christ. I have not found a more effective remedy. In them I sleep soundly and rest unafraid,” wrote Abbot John of Fécamp, the most popular spiritual writer during the Golden Age of Christendom. St. Thomas, the teacher for everyone, points out that we overcome all temptations by going to Jesus on the cross.
Recalling the passion and the wounds of Christ gives us (1) contrition for our sins that caused those painful wounds, (2) gratitude for all the graces that come from those merciful wounds, the source of the entire Church, and (3) love, in return for God’s ultimate expression of love.
Purity is pure love. And the key to love, life’s most important subject, said Pope Francis, is not our loving, but “allowing ourselves to be loved.” So let us center our life on the one truth behind all that exists: God loves us, died to save us and rose to give us his life. Making our minds and hearts revolve around Jesus’ loving deeds in Calvary is the secret to the sweet joy of daily life and our deep conversion from lust.
Always carry a crucifix and kiss it. Etch in your memory images and films such as the Passion of the Christ, which portray Jesus’ bloody sacrifice, and console him, and rejoice in his rising. His passion and rising are made present in the sacraments, giving us grace. Go often to Confession and the Eucharist. At Mass, “in your mind’s eye transport yourself to Calvary,” (St. Padre Pio) the outpouring of God’s infinite love.
Truth 1: HAPPINESS only comes from true love. Not from selfishness. Selfishness only produces the sadness of guilt. God who is love and supreme joy made us in his image: with mind and freedom. We brim with supreme joy by loving intelligently and willingly, like God.
Truth 2: LOVE means willing the good of the other person and total self-giving. Not fleeting, selfish feelings. Not animal instincts. Practice self-sacrifice to always prevent evil and do good to another.
Truth 3: BODIES are persons to be reverenced, served and saved. Not objects to be used for selfish ends. A look of lust, taught Jesus, is “adultery in the heart”. Instead,
thank God for the beauty of human bodies, and see Jesus in them.
Truth 4. SEX is a sacred gift that enables us in marriage to make a gift of ourselves and of immortal beings. Not a toy. Humans are incarnate spirits. So we express total self-giving love not just by our souls, but also by our bodies, and sexuality. In marital sex, one expresses this love in the life-long gift of self and in the gift of children, working with God himself who creates their souls, making them his children.
Truth 5: CHASTITY is a joyful Yes to true love freed from selfishness through self-mastery. Not a negative. Since you cannot give a gift that you do not have, you have to master your body to be able to give it freely as a pure gift. Chastity is intelligent leadership of our emotions and sexual urges. As we discipline our appetite intelligently by eating right to be fit and healthy, we channel our sexual urges to be able to give real, flourishing and joyful love.
Truth 6: SANCTITY is man’s great calling: to be one with God in the total gift of ourselves in marriage or in apostolic celibacy. The quickest route to union with God is uniting ourselves with Mary, the one closest to Jesus. It is very effective to often offer your eyes, your heart, your desires, your urges, your whole self to Mary, as St. John Paul the Great did: Totus tuus, Maria. I am all yours, Mary.
LIVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE: Live Jesus’ life of love.
Be immersed in God’s love. Center your heart on Jesus’ boundless love for us, engrave in your mind his truths, and live a Christian life: prayer, service, generosity, hard work, sobriety, sincerity in spiritual direction and bouncing back at once after a failure since God's infinite mercy never wanes. When he pointed out that the “flesh is weak,” he urged us: Watch and pray
that you may not enter into temptation. So strive to pray at all times. (Mt
26:41; Lk 18:1) Pray the Rosary by meditating on Christ’s life
and words.
Very important: preventive Confession and mentoring. When you feel weak, receive divine help offered in Confession. This is a very effective habit. St. Josemaria taught that humility (“I need help”) and sincerity form the foundation of victory: “if you open your heart wide, you will not be defeated.” An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. And Confession is Jesus' strengthening power.
Strengthen your motivation to choose purity over lust. Emotions and urges are like noisy passengers in your car. No matter how noisy and nagging they may be, you are still in control of your free will, and responsible for your actions. Feeling a temptation is not the same as choosing it. Clearly, eternal hell is not an option; while God is Infinite Beauty, Deepest Happiness, and the Sole Satisfier of our hearts’ desires. Make a list of motives that will make you hungry to win the fight in purity and recall them again and again: to be capable
of true love, to be a good, joyful and trusted person, etc. Remember:
the hungrier fighter wins.
Scorn impure urges and fly away at once to Jesus and Mary. Sexual sins are filthy: shamefully egoistic, irrationally animalistic and destructively addictive. The “one last sin” is a poisonous trap that only leads to more and worse sins: a joyless spiral. Show forceful repugnance to the piggish temptation (“Yuck!”) then shun it fast. “You do not win by resisting, because the more you think about it, the more it sways you. You win by fleeing, avoiding unclean thoughts completely,” (St. Thomas Aquinas) and running to embrace Jesus on the cross, where we receive infinite love and boundless joy. Our mother Mary hugs us there.
Identify and avoid the triggers to lust. Avoid occasions of sin: images, sights, situations of boredom and loneliness. Check the moral content of movies (e.g., free CNS movie guide) and use computer filters (e.g. K9 Filter is free).
Be an active advocate of the New Sexual Revolution of the Theology of the Body. If you live only to survive, you will fall off the edge pushed by the wild, raging current of the present Culture of Death. Take part in the exhilarating adventure of bringing about a new culture of true, total self-giving love. Read more about it (Chastity.org; Chastityproject.com). Spread it. You can, for example, spread the use of this article as a first step. :)
Download the one-page Executive Summary HERE for mass distribution.
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